You know that feeling...its like a sinking feeling...when you're stomach is so low that it causes a lump in your throat and you feel like you're going to cry at any moment? That's pretty much how I feel.

Since I'm one to jump to conclusions, I'm assuming Tim found someone else. I-I knew that there was someone else. He said he would wait for me...and he didn't. Why didn't you wait for me, Tim! It's no use yelling.

I wonder why that all of the sudden now that he's out of my life...he's taking over. I can't stop thinking about him. I've been trying futile attempts for his attention, like e-mails, phone calls, offline messages but I know he's avoiding me. Just the thought that MAYBE he could see them and maybe he could tear away that wall that he put up between us and throw me that rainbow he said we made by our love alone.

Man...those were good times. Hm...Throw me a Rainbow...that would make a pretty song. Maybe I'll write one and sing it and put it on You tube for everyone to see. Maybe he will see it and be moved...maybe....

Maybe...damn that's such a disgusting word...'maybe' Maybe is not 50/50...it's more 99/1 no than yes. If something is maybe....then its unlikely. Especially with Tim.

You know..I just had a revelation...Tim was slowly letting me go...first laying me off when I wanted to talk, RP...and then he turned me against him...and then...he let me go. It was as if he helpd me close..then little my little let our arms grow to full length until I was being gently lowered to the ground. He let me go, and I hit the ground with a bit of a thud...but then he left me.

I just can't believe it...and all he could say when he wouldn't take me back was 'I'm sorry'...a-and maybe he didn't want to admit he fell out of love with me.

I wasn't good enough for you, Tim. I know that, but why didn't you tell me? Why did you let me believe that I was a perfect girl? My confidence was so high, because I believed I was someone I wasn't...

I can't continue...here come the water works.

I just wish that I could have been better for him...that's all..


-Mariah


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"No matter what, I will always love you Mai. Even if we can never talk again, I will think about you all of the time, and I will never stop until I can talk to you again. I promise."

-Tim Tyler
Sent September 8th, 2007 at 12:03 am